


Thoughts of a Devil

by Qthot



Category: AFTER LIFE 소원을 담는 만화경 | AFTER LIFE: The Sacred Kaleidoscope (Visual Novel)
Genre: Character Study, Gen, Hurt, idk what else to tag, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:28:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25912879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Qthot/pseuds/Qthot
Summary: The resident devil finds himself alone again.Or, author's effort to understand Quincy's character.
Kudos: 22





	Thoughts of a Devil

It was cold.

That specific day, the department had been off. Quincy was known for being rude and arrogant, but never cold. He was different that day. Instead of the usual scathing remark or the constant proclamations of being the future king of the underworld, the devil was unusually silent. Not even Ethan or Noah could get him worked up enough to actually insult them with any bite.

And on this particular day, Quincy found himself sitting on the rooftop, hidden from all. He knew the others wouldn't search for him here. 

In fact, he knew the others wouldn't search at all. 

Why would they? He was just the noisy, troublesome devil that everyone was forced to deal with. The one who always causes a commotion. The one who's voice alone could sour any mood. 

At least, alone on this rooftop, he didn't have to worry about anyone else. 

On this rooftop, on this night, the moon was shining as bright as it usually did. All the stars seemed so pale compared to the moon. Even a shooting star would only momentarily take your attention; mesmerizing, but fleeting. The moon shined brighter anyways.

Would the stars be jealous, if they could feel? Would they scheme and plan to take away the light of the moon? Would they hurt the moon, given the chance and desire?

To Quincy, the answer was clear.

All the stars, no matter how small, could take everything away from the moon. Should they group together, should they work together, they could take down something as monstrous as the moon. Its amazing what power you have once you unite againts a common foe. Once the stars unite via their hatred of the moon... 

The moon should be careful. Or maybe it already is. Why else would it shine so bright, glow so beautifully, proclaim so loudly, that it was the best? Calling attention to yourself is the fastest way to have a target on your back. Yet the moon did it anyway. Out of confidence or sheer arrogance, that remains unclear. 

The moon was smart to be careful. The stars would all just try to hurt him anyway. So he should teach them their place and outglow them like he normally does. 

The walls he'd built were essential. Essential to survive in a world where nothing cares for him. The moon had to take everything that he could. Nobody would give him anything anyways. Even if it was his right. Even if it was only fair. Even if he deserved it, he had to take it. He had to be the very best. If not-

He'd vanish.

He doesn't want to vanish.

He deserves to live, just as much as everybody else.

So why was everybody else so hellbent on killing him?

Him... The moon. Yeah, the moon. Quincy was talking about the moon.

He reached up to wipe the tears on his face, before stopping.

Just this once. Just in this moment. 

Let him cry. Let him be weak.

As a sob tore through his body, he resisted the urge to bite his lip and muffle his cries.

He deserves this. He's allowed to be weak.

As the sobs raked through his body, he looked up at the moon.

How do you stay so bright? 

How do you smile when everybody else frowns just by seeing you? How do you handle the pain of shouting, and not being listened to? How do you stay so strong when everybody else puts you down? How do you survive when everybody else wanted you dead, since the moment you where born?

"How do you stay so bright?"

Because Quincy knows he can't. He can't keep ignoring the way they look at him. The hatred in their eyes, when he hadn't even done anything. The desire to hurt him, when from the start all he ever wanted was love.

Love...

Does he want that?

Does he even know how that feels?

Its stupid to want for something you've never experienced before.

The future king of the underworld doesn't need love. He doesn't need the approval of others. He doesn't need to feel the fuzzy warmth in his chest he feels when somebody smiles at him.

He's stronger than that.

He's stronger than ALL of them. 

But why...

Why is he crying then?

Why can't he just plow his way through all his obstacle, and reach his goal? What's stopping him?

Quincy knew what was stopping him. 

Emotions. Feelings.

These things... Are signs of weakness. Are signs of HIS weakness. He hates that he had to come out here to cry. He hates that he has to feel sad at all.

Quincy wipes away at the tears on his face, taking deep breaths to calm the tremble in his body.

He hates weakness. But he knows that other people love his weakness. He knows that, if he showed this to the demons in the underworld, they'd strip away all of his light and power. They'd hurt him. All of them would hurt him. Everyone in the world would hurt him because he doesn't even deserve the slightest chance to be happy- 

He can't show any weakness. 

But just for tonight, he let himself cry. Here, in this place where his only company was the demons in his head and the friendship of the moon, he cried. 

It felt cold.

**Author's Note:**

> I was having a bit of a bad time today so I thought I'd try to understand Quincy's character more since I find him relatable. His perception of the world is very warped. This is just my understanding of him based off of his backstories + an effort to fill in some gaps about his personality that don't make sense.
> 
> Also apparently Quincy kins the moon-


End file.
